Wow! She's not a Mary Sue!
by derpina9001
Summary: First story about my OC. True to the Title, wow, she's not a Mary Sue! Yes, this is story is humor. Yes, I have no idea where I'm going with this. Yes, there will probably be romance later on. If there is, it will be OCXTakao or OCXMidorima. Oh god, I'm so sorry for using an OC, but my writing skills suck too much to not use an OC. Warning: A fair bit of cursing.
1. Chapter 1: Meet the huge bitch

Hello! This is my first fanfic, first writing, first whatever. If you didn't read the summary, I warned you there would be a fair bit of cursing. I will give you another warning, and that is that the format this is written in is really odd. You'll probably be thinking: "What the fuck? What's with all these equal signs?" (there would be arrows if it let me put them in) Sorry about that, it's just that I'm a pretty shitty writer and it's easy to write in this format.  
Also, I apologize if there's any OOCness.

Critiques are nice! Please critique or else I will write shitty and have no idea why I'm writing shitty.

-line

**==Narrator: Introduce that foreigner chick.**

Okay, but mind you, that 'foreigner chick' has a name. Oh, and unless you want to be barraged by snarky comments, you probably shouldn't call her that.

It was a warm spring day; the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and the grass shone as the light reflected off of its dewy coating. Everything seemed beautiful, lively, warm… Except for the girl with porcelain skin, or was it pasty white? Connotation matters. Anyway, god was she WHITE.

"Hey, I can fucking hear you! What an IDIOT narrator, fuck, you're arguing with yourself!" the ghostly girl said while her right hand met with her face, forming her trademark 'face palm'

"You have got to be fucking kidding me! Ghostly?! 'Face palm'?! It is way too early in the morning to be listening to this bullshit, stop fucking around you piece of shit narrator!" We're wasting time, so we should probably stop bothering her, she's really grumpy in the mornings anyway. No, wait, she's always grumpy. Never mind!

"Hey, fuck you!" Nope, nope, we're done with this. Skip to the school setting! It was a pretty normal looking school, and was filled with pretty normal looking people. The foul-mouthed ghostly girl from earlier walked into class 1-A… I… Think? Sorry, your narrator is a foreigner as well and-

"Oh my god, this story isn't about you. Sorry, I'm not narcissistic, nor am I trying to be, but no one gives a fuck about you! I really don't want a story written about me, but I'd much rather that than listen to your bullshit story!" Okay, okay, I see how it is. *sniffle* You didn't have to be such a bitch about it, but I got it. So she walked into that classroom and was greeted by the teacher.

"Hello, you must be Kimra Rozaria. I am Mr. Takinawa"* Oh Christ, sorry for the horrible name "…Yes, I am Kimla Rozalia, but please call me Rose" she said, looking at Mr. Takinawa nervously. Surprisingly, Rose DOES have respect for others. "Alright, please wait a moment so I can introduce you to the class."

**==Be the huge bitch**

Yeah, it's true, I kind of am a huge bitch, but cut me some slack. I'm not always a huge bitch, alright? Just take my word for it.

Oh god. Kimra Rozaria? I knew people would have trouble saying my name here, but… It's going to be a lot harder than I had originally thought.

"Everyone, meet Kimra Rozaria, She has come to us from America. Be kind to her." announced the teacher with the horrible name. "Please call me Rose. I am from America, but I was born in Poland. My hobbies are swimming, collecting old money, and eating sweets." I am so fucked. Well, at least the class looks amused.

"Rose-chan, please sit in the open desk near the back beside the window. You will be sitting by Takao Kazunari. Takao-kun, please raise your hand." This teacher says please a lot. Chan… Rose-Chan, that sounds really dumb. Oh right, something about some Takao kid.

A stupid looking guy with annoyingly styled black hair raised his hand, you sighed, and god, did you hate his hair. "Over here, Rose-chan!" Well, at least he seemed friendly. You walked over to him and sat in the open desk beside him "Hello, you can call me Takao-kun! Swimming huh? Are you going to join the school's swim team?" Oh god, he is friendly. "It's nice to meet you, Takao-kun. Yes, I'm a swimmer, but I'm probably not going to join the swim team." "Hum, what a shame. If you don't have any other extracurricular you want to do, you can be the Manager of the basketball team! If you wanted, that is. It's just that we need a manager, and finding one isn't easy…" A manager, that doesn't suit you at all, but you suppose it's better than nothing. "Sounds interesting, I'll think about it." "Really?! Great! Come to the gym after school then!" What the fuck? You didn't say you'd actually BE the manager, yet. You weren't even sure if you wanted to yet or not. You sighed, you guess you'll go along with what he says anyway.

**==Be the friendly guy with annoying hair**

What? Annoying hair…?

"Everyone, meet Kimra Rozaria, She has come to us from America. Be kind to her." announced Mr. Takinawa. You never really did like his name. "Please call me Rose. I am from America, but I was born in Poland. My hobbies are swimming, collecting old money, and eating sweets." The new girl isn't so bad, she's actually really cute! Hazel eyes, long brown hair, porcelain skin, and big boobs. Big boobs, fuck yes.

"Rose-chan, please sit in the open desk near the back beside the window. You will be sitting by Takao Kazunari. Takao-kun, please raise your hand." Awesome, she's going to sit by you! Lucky for her you're a pretty outgoing guy, and she looks nervous. Maybe she's shy? How cute! You raised your hand, so she would know just who this mysterious Takao-kun was. You knew she would love you, you just knew it.

"Over here, Rose-chan! Hello, you can call me Takao-kun! Swimming huh? Are you going to join the school's swim team?" Oh god, too many questions in one sentence. Fuck! Don't fuck up now! "It's nice to meet you, Takao-kun. Yes, I'm a swimmer, but I'm probably not going to join the swim team." Thank god, it seems like she didn't notice your barrage of questions. Not going to join the team? Oh! Well if that's the case, the team does need a manager. "Hum, what a shame. If you don't have any other extracurricular you want to do, you can be the Manager of the basketball team! If you wanted, that is. It's just that we need a manager, and finding one isn't easy…" Killing two birds with one stone! The team gets a manager and you get more time to get to know her. "Sounds interesting, I'll think about it." You are the MASTER. "Really?! Great! Come to the gym after school then!" Everything is going according to plan so far, how lucky for you!

Narrator's Notes: *You know, since the stereotypical Japanese person can't pronounce L's very well...


	2. Chapter 2: Why

**==Author: ****_Let's communication!_**

Hello readers! I would just like to say a few things. You know that honorifics thing they use in Japanese? I'm not doing it anymore, it's just a huge pain in the ass and it's unnecessary. Wow, not even to chapter 2 and I'm already bitching and complaining. Also I would like to say that I plan to update a chapter or so to this story at least once a week, give or take a few days.

**==Narrator: Give a formal introduction to that ghostly girl**

Oh wow, that sounds so fancy! A formal introduction?! Alright, let's do this.

The main character of this story is named Rozalia Kimla. Rose, as she prefers to be called, is a huge bitch, but you already knew that!

"Are you fucking serious? God, I really hate this damned narrator. Can't we do without one? Anyway, like I said earlier, since apparently no one fucking listens, I'm not a huge bitch all the time. Jesus Christ, why do I have to help this piece of shit narrator introduce myself?! You know what, I think I'm done. I'm done talking to this piece of shit narrator, I'm done introducing myself, and I'm done looking like I'm yelling at my fucking self. Do you even know how many weird looks I get when I yell at this fucking narrator?! People think I'm arguing with myself! Oh my god, now I'm rambling. My rambling took up an entire fucking paragraph." Said the ghostly girl, facepalming at herself this time around. Maybe if we're lucky, we'll get to introduce her without her interrupting us.

…

Okay, well it sounds like the coast is clear, no more interruptions… This chapter! Anyway, I apologize for not giving a proper introduction last chapter, but I'll make up for it later, you'll see!

Continuing on from earlier, Rose is a huge bitch, but not all the time. She's pretty sarcastic, she has very little empathy (which is reserved for friends only), and she has a lot of pride. Lots of pride, _lots of it_. I know you're all thinking "ERMAHGERD SHE'S A TSUNDAYRAY ISN'T SHE", don't deny it. And no, she isn't a 'tsundayray' because she isn't 'dere'… I can't even imagine her having a crush on someone, so I can't say for sure, but I seriously doubt it. Other than that I can't really say much, she's a real oddball with an impossible shell to crack. Rose isn't incredibly friendly and she isn't the type to reach out to people, so I can't see her as the type to have a lot of friends. I'd say she's the kind to have a few close friends, but then again I don't think she's the type to form tight bonds with people… So maybe just a few friends?

**TL;DR Rose is weird and forever alone**

Sorry readers, I'm not an omnipotent eye-in-the-sky, so I can't tell you every little thing. I have limited knowledge of her, as do you, but you readers, unlike me, can 'become her' via. **==Be the huge bitch** (or whatever she's being called in the situation), whereas I cannot. I can, however, explain things awesomely and give hilarious commentary!

I'll give a brief physical description of her since I'm sure you're all dying to know. She's really pale (I'm sure you guys got that last chapter!), has long brown hair, small almond-shaped hazel eyes, average height, big boobs, small facial features… She actually has a really cute face, but it doesn't suit her at all.

**==Author: Apologize for the shittiest chapter update ever**

No.

I will, however, update Chapter 3 briefly.


	3. Chapter 3: how do i title

_Synopsis of Chapter 1: Rose is introduced, surprise, she's a huge bitch. A guy with annoying hair (Takao) says she can be the manager, Rose ponders and decides to check it out later (but we won't actually get to that until later)._

**==Narrator: Stop being a boring prick**

Boring prick?! How rude! It's necessary to properly introduce a character, especially the main one, you know!

The school bell rang, it was lunch time. Rose sat there, practically shitting her pants. She had no one to sit with! Worry not, along came her knight in shining armor.

**==Knight in shining armor: Woo the lonely lady**

What the fuck?

You looked over at Rose, she had no one to sit with of course since it was her first day after all. You doubt some random girls would come up and talk to her since it's too late into the school year and all of the cliques have already been formed. You doubt some random guys would come up and talk to her since… Well, you don't have a good reason but it seemed unlikely. This could be the perfect chance to get to know her, but it could also be incredibly awkward and give her a bad impression of you.

You decided to try to talk to her anyway since you hated the idea of leaving her alone after you asked her to be the manager. How lame would that look? Incredibly lame, and lame is something that you are not.

"Hey Rose, I notice you don't have anyone to sit with. Mind if I eat with you?" you saw her expression soften and her shoulders relax a bit "Not at all, but I might bore you."

**==Rose: Be interrogated**

The lunch bell rang and you had no one to sit with. Shit! You don't mind being alone, but it's so boring and incredibly lame. Man, first days really suck ass… You guess you could text some of your friends over in America, but seeing how the time zones are so far apart that probably wouldn't work out well. What about that Takao kid? You don't expect him to talk to you, even though he is friendly, mainly because most (all) of the friendly people you have met don't care much for new people if they don't try to become friends right back. Shit, that made more sense in your head than it did in words.

"Hey Rose, I notice you don't have anyone to sit with. Mind if I eat with you?" Oh my god, this kid is something else "Not at all, but I might bore you." If you had a keyboard right now, you would probably start mashing some keys.

"That's no problem at all! I actually have a question or two for you, but unlike earlier, I promise to space them out this time." You wonder why he's so friendly. "Go for it." "Well first, where did you live in America?" "Texas." "Oh wow, Texas? Is it re-" "No, there is no tumbleweeds or cowboy standoffs, nor do we ride horses to school." His face reddened, probably surprised you knew what his question was going to be before he even said it "You must get that question a lot then, huh?" "Almost every time I talk to someone who isn't from Texas themselves. I have to be honest though, back a long time ago when I lived in Poland I thought Texas would be like that too, and my heart broke when I found out we were moving there. Oh god, I was so dramatic about it, it's embarrassing to even think about it. How my parents even put up with me back then I don't even know." Your face flushed and you face palmed "Heheh, I think it's pretty normal for a kid to be dramatic when they're moving to another country." "Maybe, but that shit is unacceptable coming from me. I personally find it lame to be a dramatic baby like I was at the time." "Is that so? I can see you as the dramatic type, not so sure about the baby part though. We'll see." Your mouth gaped and you looked at the asshole with wide-eyes. _WHAT?!_ He is not friendly at all; he's a sociable bastard! But you have to admit, that was a pretty good jab for a guy you just met. And you can appreciate a sociable bastard, since you yourself aren't a kind person. A smirk grew on your face, "Fuck you. Props though for tricking me into thinking you were friendly." "You'd be surprised how much I get that. Do I really seem that friendly at first? But props to you as well, because I thought you'd be a shy, cute girl." "You have no fucking idea how much people tell me that. It must be my cute face, right? It doesn't suit me at all, I know. And yes, you do seem that friendly at first, and I thought you were friendly up until you made that crack at me. Then I realized that you were a bastard." At this point you were both smiling like maniacs, and the invisible bond was formed. You were excited for this friendship, finally a person that can take your sarcasm and throw it right back at you two-fold. People like this were rare for you to come across.

**==Sociable bastard: how do i title**

Something was weird about this girl, you had a feeling that maybe she wasn't the shy, cute girl you had originally thought she would be. You, being the impulsive, rude, and calculating person you prided yourself to be, thought of a fool-proof plan that would conclude whether she was who you thought she would be. Well, maybe it wasn't fool-proof and it was kind of stupid and just plain mean, but your mouth moved too quickly for your brain to process. "Is that so? I can see you as the dramatic type, not so sure about the baby part though. We'll see." You saw her mouth gape and her eyes widen; you wanted to laugh at her reaction but then you also wanted to scream expletives at yourself for fucking everything up. When she smirked, you knew that she was friend-material. "Fuck you. Props though for tricking me into thinking you were friendly." You don't even know how many times those exact words have been said to you, but it sounded weird coming from her. "You'd be surprised how much I get that. Do I really seem that friendly at first? But props to you as well, because I thought you'd be a shy, cute girl." "You have no fucking idea how much people tell me that. It must be my cute face, right? It doesn't suit me at all, I know. And yes, you do seem that friendly at first, and I thought you were friendly up until you made that crack at me. Then I realized that you were a bastard." This girl is fucking hilarious! Finally, a girl that can be sarcastic with you, and just to be fair, take your sarcasm as well. It looks kind of pathetic and sad when you only have male friends, not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's nice to talk to a female every now and then.


	4. Chapter 4: Avoid fucking up

**==Author: [Insert generic title here]**

Hello readers! I would just like to note that I may introduce another OC either next chapter or a bit later on since I feel that if I do not then my story may be lacking in characters! Also I feel that I may need to apologize for the lie I have told all of you (I'm referencing my promise to update every week or so), but since last week was Spring Break for me I took advantage of that and relaxed. I'm sorry but I regret _nothing_.

_Synopsis of Chapter 3: Rose and Takao hit it off pretty well._

**==Narrator: blah**

I'm not too surprised Rose and Takao got along so quickly, they seem to have similar personalities! I find that an explanation for this would be unnecessary because of its simplicity, but as a narrator I believe that it is my duty to do so! _Let's explanation!_

Rose and Takao share similar traits; both of them are sarcastic (though one is more so than the other), have playful personalities, and are prideful. They have their differences as well, but I'm sure you guys will pick up on that later if you haven't already!

Class ended and it was time for Takao to use his persuasive abilities to snag the basketball team a manager. If there was an absence of manager, then who would keep track of everything?

**==Takao: Avoid fucking up**

Your eyes rolled at the title. Why did you have to avoid fucking up, when you never fuck up? You are Takao and you are the MASTER.

Who are you kidding, you're nervous and this girl is kind of intimidating. Why couldn't she be the shy, cute girl you had hoped for? Not that you didn't like her, she was an interesting person, but her personality doesn't suit her appearance at all! Well, that isn't really the issue, you could care less, but there's something about her that's just nerve-wracking. You know that you're a handful, but you have the feeling that she's even more of a pain in the ass than you could ever hope to be. You aren't entirely sure and it kind of pisses you off that you can't quite come to grips on her personality. Maybe you should make a chart later or something? You suppose a mental note will have to do for now.

_Listener, sarcastic, intimidating. That is all._

Is that all you have?! Fuck!

Well you can't win all the time, and it's kind of ridiculous that you think you can crack someone you hardly know, even though you have no problem cracking most people in a fairly short amount of time. Or that's what you tell yourself, at least.

You looked over at Rose and realized that she had been staring at you with one of the most intense 'what the fuck' faces you have ever seen. Oh shit! How much time did you waste zoning off?!

"Are you done zoning out? I don't think I've ever seen anyone zone out so hard before. I'm impressed yet appalled at the same time. So are you going to explain to me the job of the basketball team manager or do you want me to let you zone out some more?" said Rose, with an icy-cold smirk. You don't know Rose too well yet, but you have the feeling you're going to be seeing that smirk a lot.

"Zoning out? No way, I was thinking of a genius basketball strategy. You wouldn't know." "Well maybe I would if you spent less time zoning out and more time on explaining things to me. You want a manager and I have time to waste, so are we going to do this or not?" God damn, this girl is ice-cold!

"Alright, jeez, follow me and I'll bring you to the gym and let you check some things out. I'll also introduce you to the other team members, but let me give you a little warning first. Midorima, our shooting guard, is a pretty serious guy and I don't think he'll take too well to your sarcasm. Hell, he hardly puts up with me! He's a decent guy though, and an awesome player. He's also my best friend! Just be a bit careful and he'll warm up to you eventually. He's tsundere so you got to walk on egg shells if you want to befriend him." Oh god, you really hope she'll heed your warning. "Oh, okay. Thanks for the tip. I know your pain though; tsunderes are a real handful, huh?" Rose said, smiling a bit. "I know, right!? They're so funny though too, so it's worth it in the end." You said laughing.

_Listener, sarcastic, intimidating, ice-cold._ It's a start.

**==Rose: You are the ice queen. It is you.**

Ice queen? Are you really that cold…? Damn.

You stared intently at Takao, that kid really knows how to zone out. He's a funny guy though, and you'll have loads of fun picking on him (in a friendly manner, of course).

Maybe you shouldn't though. You've never had many friends because of how shitty you treated them. When you were younger, it was because you cared too much about them and was an annoying little shit, and they hated you because you wouldn't fuck off. More recently, it's because you're too cold and don't think about how they'll take your shitty humor, and also because you don't reach out to them or try to hang out at places other than school. Funny how things work out.

You know that your humor can be a little cruel at times, and sometimes it truly isn't funny at all. But you try to make up for that by adding honest self-depreciation into your arsenal of jokes and repeatedly telling them that it's okay if they want to joke about you too, but you guess it was never good enough.

You have had some good friends that knew that you were just fucking around and knew when to take you seriously and when not to. But because you're a shitty friend and you suck at reaching out to people, most of those relationships have disintegrated. Also, moving to another country does not help out at all. You've only managed to keep one of those 'good friends' so far via. the internet and gaming, but you're afraid she'll grow tired of your shitty humor eventually and you'll be left alone again. You'll be alone again and it would be your fault alone. There's some kind of fucked up cycle going on, and as much as you want to be less of a shitty friend, you can't fix anything until you realize what that cycle is.

The shithead finally looked over at you.

"Are you done zoning out? I don't think I've ever seen anyone zone out so hard before. I'm impressed yet appalled at the same time. So are you going to explain to me the job of the basketball team manager or do you want me to let you zone out some more?" You said with an icy-cold smirk plastered on your face that felt all too familiar.

You're probably the biggest piece of shit in the entire world for just having thought to yourself that you should be a friendlier person and then completely ignoring yourself and instead choose to change nothing. It would be nice if you knew what that cycle was, so you would have an easier time being less of an asshole. Not much you can do though until you find out about that cycle or whatever the hell it is.

After a bit of talking he led you towards the gym and warned you about some Midorima guy; apparently he's a tsundere. Those types are always a pain but they're a real gem. You hope you'll allow yourself to not fuck up so you can get on his good side.


End file.
